A couple of days ago, out of the blue, I decided that I no longer want this blog to be a movie review blog. Yes, it used to be a movie review blog before and I’ve reviewed a few movies but then neglected this site for ages. So, instead of letting this site go to waste, I decided to turn it into a personal blog.
Why a personal blog?
Recently, I discovered my old online journal from when I was 18. Spent a few days reading the whole journal. It reminded me of how fucking shitty my life was back then then realizing it is worse right now. I also started remembering a few things that should not have been forgotten in the first place. Like how I was mentally and emotionally abused by my own family. How I used to cut myself. How many times I attempted suicide and failed. How I tried to run away from my house. How I met a few people that used to be important in my life then later turned out to be just another shitty people in my hate list.
Realizing how I am so alone right now. And a fucking failure.
Writing in that journal used to be my ‘escape’ from my crazy life. Letting it all out helped me deal with the problems. Now, I have nobody. I decided this journal would become my new best friend. This journal is not meant to be read by anyone I know. But if you’re a random stranger who accidentally stumbled upon this blog, hello. Since this is still very public, I will protect people’s privacy including my own by not mentioning real names and certain situations I deem too personal for the public eyes.
This blog is going to be my medium to express my feelings now. Hopefully, this will help me deal with my depression so I could go on with my daily life.
It’s not time for me to go. Not yet.